I don’t know if the same can be said of the idiot

He will only run around shouting nonsense but

About this abstract pommel to his blunt sword

Of his idiocy there is not quite a fitting word

I am he and to speak that way is freedom

From your assurances of my kingdom to come

No need to please you there shall any longer be

Since I speak like Yoda, I doubt you will see

That I am not a genius and say what you will

For I shall maintain that you are dumber still

To have spent all your time in company like yours

And simply ignore the plague that haunts your purse

Whimsical vanity cards are the order of each day

Quite similar to this one will its message say

That freedom is something I treasure very much

And ’tis not a point I can emphasise more as such

Then did walk in one snooty little German man

And told the world of more than what he ought to or can

His Wikipedia page was not something I enjoyed reading

What with the depression I was now inside feeling

In Deutsche would Zarathustra have sounded smart

For in plain and simple English he was mere brainfart

A few drops of ink and a splotch here and there

And so strode Nietzsche every-bloody-where

Against his offence there seemed no fitting defence

And so I took to the external links thence

Until I found my knight who but smelled of lard

It was none other than Soren Kierkegaard

‘Twas laid bare and for ev’ryone to see plain

How my mighty soldiering words had been slain

Life is meaningless, he said, and almost everything else

So I engaged Hemingway and his eight tolling bells

The brutality of civil war and what not

And the unfortunate bloodshed it brought

Seemed something I could handle after all

Because it seemed just like my mothership’s call

The darkness was seeping in from all sides now

It soon seemed from the writers’ theater I’d have to bow

Out and walk with faith in my engineering prospects

I was no longer Kaiser Soze but one of the usual suspects

When I suddenly recalled one case called Morrison

Whose tragic tale, thank the lard, is all said and done

When all of the teachers and creaters of wealth be arraigned

He could see quite a future for me in the literal sands

And so I now shut my books and think open-mindedly

While writing bloody nonsense and speaking wildly

This writers’ block is such a doleful bane I must tell you

I hope you enjoyed this because I am finally through


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